47 Questions to ask coworkers
Questions to ask coworkers and icebreaker questions for work, for teams that can take a joke.
Light
Low risk. High likelihood.
- Who here is controlling the office music like a small dictator?
- Who here is emailing at 1am purely as a threat?
- Who here is typing loudly to appear important?
- Who here is suggesting lunch at 11:04?
- Who here is turning every call into a five-minute anecdote?
- Who here is joining every meeting exactly ninety seconds late?
- Who here is the reason there is a sign above the microwave?
- Who here is genuinely dangerous with a whiteboard marker?
- Who here is bringing the strongest possible opinion about a font?
- Who here is on camera from a location they refuse to explain?
- Who here is naming files in a way that should be illegal?
- Who here is fighting the printer and losing in public?
- Who here is bringing food that fills the whole floor with regret?
- Who here is saying 'quick question' before a forty-minute question?
- Who here is never going to read this far into the list?
Sharp
Specific. Personal. But mostly harmless.
- Who here is presenting somebody else's idea with total calm?
- Who here is doing nothing all week and being praised on Friday?
- Who here is booking a meeting that should have been one sentence?
- Who here is replying 'as per my last email' with genuine joy?
- Who here is agreeing in the meeting and objecting in the corridor?
- Who here is adding six people to a thread out of pure spite?
- Who here is calendar-blocking work that does not exist?
- Who here is asking one final question at 17:58?
- Who here is volunteering other people for work they will avoid?
- Who here is describing a disaster as a learning opportunity?
- Who here is running personal errands during every single call?
- Who here is applying for other jobs during this exact meeting?
- Who here is being quietly replaced by a spreadsheet already?
- Who here is holding this entire team together with no title for it?
- Who here is going to be promoted for the least visible work?
- Who here is the person everybody messages before a decision?
- Who here is running a second full-time job in another window?
- Who here is reading this list during working hours?
- Who here is the reason IT changed the password policy?
Sensational
The kind you don't ask out loud.
- Who here is keeping written receipts on colleagues?
- Who here is going to be the reason for the next HR email?
- Who here is talking about this meeting in another meeting?
- Who here is telling their friends a very different version of this job?
- Who here is the one who knows everybody's salary?
- Who here is going to start a competitor within three years?
- Who here is underpaid by an embarrassing margin?
- Who here is one bad Monday away from resigning by email?
- Who here is going to be walked out by security with total dignity?
- Who here is the single reason this company needed a new policy?
- Who here is surviving the next restructure on charisma alone?
- Who here is going to be a cautionary story here for a decade?
- Who here is the person this team would follow to another company?