50 Questions to ask friends
Questions to ask friends that nobody says out loud. Dry, specific, and built for one group vote.
Light
Low risk. High likelihood.
- Who here is losing a fight with a self-checkout and taking it to appeal?
- Who here is being followed home by a bird with an agenda?
- Who here is apologising out loud to a chair?
- Who here is stuck in a revolving door and pretending it was planned?
- Who here is naming their houseplants and having a clear favourite?
- Who here is crying at an advert for a bank?
- Who here is talking to a dog like it owes them money?
- Who here is losing their phone while filming with it?
- Who here is eating something from a fridge with no known owner?
- Who here is waving back at someone who was not waving?
- Who here is holding a door open for so long it becomes a job?
- Who here is sending a voice note longer than a short film?
- Who here is arguing with a satnav as if it can be hurt?
- Who here is buying a plant they will eventually be grieving?
- Who here is convinced one specific pigeon recognises them?
- Who here is putting an entire personality into one nine-minute story?
Sharp
Specific. Personal. But mostly harmless.
- Who here is typing for four minutes and sending 'ok'?
- Who here is rehearsing an argument in the shower and losing it?
- Who here is guarding one phone folder with their entire life?
- Who here is screenshotting this chat for a smaller, meaner chat?
- Who here is saying 'two minutes away' from under a duvet?
- Who here is still owing three people money since a wedding in spring?
- Who here is starting a war with one perfectly chosen emoji?
- Who here is the reason this group needed a second, quieter group?
- Who here is physically incapable of apologising first?
- Who here is googling their own name more often than the weather?
- Who here is keeping a grudge from a birthday party in 2014 fully alive?
- Who here is turning a ten-minute delay into a hostage situation?
- Who here is telling a story with three lies stitched into the middle?
- Who here is running a whole personality on opinions borrowed last Tuesday?
- Who here is the worst possible passenger on a five-hour drive?
- Who here is starting the drama and then filming everybody else's reaction?
- Who here is booking a holiday to escape one conversation?
- Who here is lying about having read the message?
- Who here is dressing entirely for people who are not in the room?
- Who here is having a full argument with someone imaginary right now?
Sensational
The kind you don't ask out loud.
- Who here is going to be described by neighbours as quiet and polite?
- Who here is writing a will with clauses designed purely to hurt?
- Who here is haunting this group specifically to finish one argument?
- Who here is going to be arrested for something entirely reasonable in their head?
- Who here is the reason somebody in another city started therapy?
- Who here is muted by more people in this room than they could survive knowing?
- Who here is being discussed the second they leave to get a drink?
- Who here is trading this entire friendship group for one free upgrade?
- Who here is a complete stranger everybody has known for nine years?
- Who here is going to be the very calm one interviewed in the documentary?
- Who here is keeping a physical list of everybody who wronged them?
- Who here is going to be the reason this chat finally dies?
- Who here is quietly the least fine person in the room?
- Who here is capable of faking a new identity over one embarrassing evening?